Poltergeist Remake – Not All Scary, A Few Jumps

poltergeist remake

The 1982 original managed to give younger viewers as well as adults plenty of shocks and jolts, enough to fire up an interest in the genre. Rather than just ghosts banging doors, the original gave us demonic trees, pathways to hell and the scariest doll in history. Tobe Hooper’s direction kept us rigidly focused on each angle and primed us up well for the jumpy scenes.

A few spoilers here btw in case you are yet to watch the remake or the original.

I won’t say this lacked in the Poltergeist remake, I will say the remake fell short of the scares offered by the original. What really worked best – the cast. Rockwell and DeWitt shone as the baffled parents, and the children were also well cast.

The ye olde lines make a return such as young Madison played by the startlingly good Kennedi Clements. Certainly a young actress to watch for as she grows. She had the honor of repeating the famous line: They’re Here.

madison poltergeist remake

There were plenty of pivotal moments in the 1982 film which just failed to hit the mark in the Poltergeist remake. The CGI focus much to blame for that, a lack of being able to believe enough, that slip from realism often experienced with CGI. The claw shaped tree branch, a great horror idea but still – CGI. The closet light show was more that than a scary doorway to the other side. The dolls trumped here particularly when they move around and compensated for the not so convincing other CGI bits.

The back story felt a bit lost. We learn early on how the estate was built on a cemetery and that was that. No comeuppance for anyone like the greedy realtor in the original, just a family who chose the wrong home. The writers changed a number of areas such as the character names too.

Jared Harris always convinces in his roles. Never saw him as a bogus paranormal expert so I was pleasantly satisfied by his performance. he kind of carried the better back story to fall back on which connects well with the irony of his actions later on. As we learn how he faked his paranormal experience for a TV show (much like the Most Haunted and other crap), we also learn that he does actually possess plenty of knowledge on the paranormal which he bravely utilizes to save the family almost at great cost to his own life. Funny moments like how he boasted about a demonic attack left him almost without a leg only to learn later the cause was far less dramatic and more comedic.

Overall, an entertaining movie, just not as scary as hoped. But it is a PG-13 and for reasons that I understand.  I certainly would give it more of a thumbs up than the reviewers on Rotten Tomatoes. It offers much to the growing teen audience interest over the years. I was only 13 when I experienced the original and this film too found a balance between an outright shock fest like The Conjuring and how the original offered a broader age appeal.

Evil Dead Remake on Blu-Ray

evil dead remake

There is no doubt that Sam Raimi just killed it – that simple with this flick. The original gave us a slice of horror unmatched by so many gore movies. The Evil Dead remake packed a similar punch taking a slightly different set of characters but not straying away from the shlock horror effects that made the original a masterpiece.

As with any horror remake, the uber fans do step in and find ways to degrade the remake idea. Have to admit to it myself. When I heard Halloween was being remade back in 2006, I was a mushroom cloud blowing mo’fucker as Samuel Jackson put it in Pulp Fiction. But, the realm of remakes exists and is an inevitable choice for the studios when they feel it is better to take a chance on a cult classic than some writer’s marvelous fresh story.

The good thing here, the evil dead remake really worked. All the gore, all the demons, some folks to chop up, cringe worthy scenes, everything that a horror fan wants. And right at the end, Bruce himself shows up, well, after the credits. Did you stay till that bit??

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Evil Dead (Blu-ray + UltraViolet Digital Copy)

Features: HORROR, Run Time: 91, Release Date: 9/23/2014, R Director: Fede Alvarez
Starring: Jane Levy, Shiloh Fernandez
Rating: R (Restricted)
A secluded cabin. An ancient curse. An unrelenting evil. The original producers reunite to present a genuinely terrifying re-imagining of their original horror masterpiece. Five young friends have found the mysterious and fiercely powerful Book of the Dead. Unable to resist its temptation, they release a violent demon on a bloodthirsty quest to possess them all. Who will be left to fight for their survival and defeat this unearthly force of murderous carnage?
List Price: $19.99 USD
New From: $8.58 USD In Stock
Used from: $4.89 USD In Stock

Bela Lugosi Genuine HAND SIGNED Autograph AFTAL UACC

Bela Lugosi Autograph

Bold Pencil Signature with sentiment on autograph album page. Autograph comes from the collection of another actor of the same period.
List Price: Price Not Listed
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Bold Pencil Signature with sentiment on autograph album page. Autograph comes from the collection of another actor of the same period.

Seven Movie Remakes That Need to Cast The Rock


Some of these reboots are actually happening. Some of them are stuck in development and likely will be until the end of time. All of them could use some Dwayne Johnson. Now for some movie remake ideas.

Three Men and a Baby (as the baby)

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Mighty Morphin Power Rangers (as Alpha 5)


Guys and Dolls (as Nathan Detroit, with Terry Crews as Sky Masterson)

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Seriously, though.

Ghostbusters (as whoever the Egon equivalent ends up being)

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Tell me you wouldn’t watch nerd Dwayne (I feel like I can call him Dwayne). No reference ever made to his physique. None.

The Magnificent Seven (every single one of the Magnificent Seven)

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Highlander (as Juan Sanchez Villa-Lobos Ramirez)

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Dwayne does his best Scottish-accent-as-a-Spanish-character while Gerard Butler sobs quietly in the background.

Fraggle Rock (all the Doozers)

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It’s too late for Rebecca (@RebeccaPahle) to apologize for any of this. It’s too laaaaate.

What movie remake ideas for The Rock would you suggest?

Disney Movie Remake: Bambi (Featuring The Rock) [Parody]


Disney movie remake live action film stars Dwayne Johnson as Bambi, Vin Diesel (Taran Killam) as Thumper, Tyrese Gibson (Jay Pharoah) as Flower and Michelle Rodriguez (Cecily Strong) as Faline.


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